Scent Of A Woman《闻香识女人》PIA戏剧本

编辑：周躉躉

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第一幕：初见

Poor top student Charlie chose to workstudy so that he wouldn't be laughed at by the rich kids at school. He saw a parttime job as a nurse for an old man and decided to try his luck.

贫穷的优等生查理为了可以不被学校的富二代们嘲笑，而选择勤工俭学。无意中，他看到了为一位老人做护工的兼职，决定前去试试运气。

-Charlie： Sir? 

-Frank：Don't call me sir! 

-Charlie：I'm sorry. I mean mister, sir. 

-Frank： oh, we got a moron here, is that it? 

-Charlie: No, mister... Uh, that is...Uh, Lieutenant. Yes, sir, Lieu...Lieutenant Colonel. 

-Frank: 26 years on the line, nobody ever busted me four grades before.Get in here, you idiot!Come a little closer. I wanna get a better look at you.How's your skin, son? 

-Charlie: My skin, sir? 

-Frank: Oh, for Christ's sake. 

-Charlie: I'm sorry, I don'... 

-Frank: Just call me Frank. Call me Mr. Slade.Call me Colonel, if you must. Just don't call me sir.

 -Charlie: All right, Colonel.

 -Frank: Simms Charles. A senior.You on student aid, Simms?

 -Charlie: Uh, Yes, I am.

 -Frank: For “student aid” read “crook”.Your father peddles car telephones at a 300% markup.

peddle: Your mother works on heavy commission in a camera store.Graduated to it from espresso machines.What are you, dying of some wasting disease?

 -Charlie: No, I'm right. I'm right here.

 -Frank: I know exactly where your body is.What I'm looking for is some indication of a brain.

look for: Too much football without a helmet?Hah! Lyndon's line on Gerry Ford.Deputy Debriefer, Paris Peace Talks, '68.Snagged the Silver Star and a silver bar. Threw me into G2.

 -Charlie: G2?

 -Frank: Intelligence, of which you have none.Where're you from?

 -Charlie: Um, Gresham, Oregon,Gresham，Oregon。Colonel.

-Frank: What does your daddy do in Gresham, Oregon?Hmm? Count wood chips?

 -Charlie: Uh, my stepfather and my mom run a convenience store.

 -Frank: How convenient! What time they open?

 -Charlie: 5:00 A.M.

 -Frank: Close?

 -Charlie: 1:00 A.M.

 Frank:Hard workers.You got me all misty eyed!mistyeyed: So, what are you doing here in this sparrow fart town?

 -Charlie: I, I... I attend Baird.

 -Frank: Attend Baird!I know you go to the Baird school.Point is, how do you afford it,even with the student aid and the folks back home hustling corn nuts?

 -Charlie: I won a, uh, Young America merit scholarship.

 -Frank: “Glory, glory Hallelujah!

 -Francine:Glory, glory Hallelujah!”

 -Frank: Who's there?That little piece of tail?Get her outta here!Can't believe they're my blood.I.Q. of sloths and the manners of banshees.He's a mechanic, she's a homemaker.He knows as much about cars as a beauty queen,and she bakes cookies, taste like wing nuts.As for the tots, they're twits.How's your skin, son? I like my aides to be presentable.

 -Charlie: Well, I... I've had a few zits.Um, but my roommate, he lent me his clinique because he's from...

 Frank: The History of My Skin by Charles Simms.You patronizing me, peewee? Hmm?You giving me that old prep school palaver?Baird School!A bunch of runny nosed snots in tweed jackets...all studying to be George Bush.

 -Charlie: I believe President Bush went to Andover, Colonel.

 -Frank: You sharpshooting me, punk?Is that what you're doing?Don't you sharpshoot me!You'll give me forty.Then you're gonna give me forty more.Then you're gonna pull K.P., the grease pit!I'll rub your nose in enlisted men's crud.till you don't know which end is up! You understand?

 -Charlie: Yeah. 

-Frank: What do you want? 

-Charlie: What do you mean, What do I want?

 -Frank: What do you want here?

 Charlie: I wa want a job.

 -Frank: A job!

 -Charlie: Yeah, I want a job so I can make, you know,my plane fare home for Christmas.

 -Frank: God, you're touching!Still here, poor mouth?Convenience store...my ass!Hustling jalapeno dips to the appleseeds.Go on.Dismissed.Dismissed!

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Charlie oversaw some of his classmates' shenanigans [ʃɪˈnænɪɡənz] : painting the Dean's limousine. In order to find out the truth and the instigator of the incident, the Dean of the academic affairs office began to intimidate and seduce several classmates who might be involved, and through the possible only eyewitness of the incident, he locked Charlie who should know the real fragrance, but Charlie's reluctance to blow the whistle on his classmates upset the dean. Finally, the Dean decided to give Charlie a weekend to think it over and threatened to fire him if he didn't tell him the truth after the weekend! Distressed Charlie can only put this moment aside for the time being, and went to his part-time job.

查理无意间目睹了几个同学恶作剧：将教务处主任的豪华汽车涂满了油漆。教务处主任为了查明事情的真相和始作俑者，开始威逼利诱有可能参与的几个同学，并且通过事件可能的唯一目击者锁定了查理应该知道真香，但是查理不愿意揭发自己的同学，这让教务处主任非常苦恼。最终，教务处主任决定给查理一个周末的时间考虑清楚，并且威胁查理如果在周末后不对他说出真相，他将被开除！苦恼的查理只能暂时先将此时放在一边，而奔赴自己兼职工作。

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第二幕：出发

-Charlie: are these... 

-Frank: Good.Taxi come yet? 

-Charlie: Colonel, where are we going? 

-Frank: Where we going?Freak show central. 

-Charlie: Where's that? 

-Frank: New York City.That's in New York, son. New York State. 

-Charlie: Uh, Mrs. Rossi didn't say anything to me about going anywhere. 

-Frank: She forgot. 

-Charlie: Should we call her, 'cause I... 

-Frank: You kidding me? Call her? By the time they get to Albany in that "hup mobile" he drives.

it'll be opening day at Saratoga. 

-Charlie: Colonel, I can't go to New York City. 

-Frank: Why not?

 -Charlie: New York...New York's too much responsibility. 

-Frank: Ah, responsibility!I had a lot of 17 year olds my first platoon.I took care of them. All set!

How do I look?......Tickets. Money. Speech.Old Washington joke... from my days with Lyndon.I knew I could count on transportation.Are you ready?This is not Panmunjom. A simple yes will do.

Good! Here you go.Come on! Hup to it, son!You're in front of me. Let's go.Tomster, come here, boy.Come on.Here, tomster, come on. Tomster, tomster. Yeah.Remember, when in doubt... fuck.

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在飞机上

-Steward: Good afternoon, sir. Where's our destination? 

-Frank: Our destination... New York City, home of the brave! 

-Steward: Two for the shuttle to New York.

 -Frank: I'm not shuttling anywhere.Look at those tickets. "First class." 

-Steward: Yes, sir, first class. 

-Charlie: You bought me a ticket? I never said I'd go to New York. 

Frank: What are you, some kind of chicken shit, sticks to job description only? 

-Steward: Gate 46, sir. 

-Frank: As you were, son. 

-Steward: Thank you, sir. 

-Frank: Which way's the door?Are you blind? are you blind? 

-Charlie: Of course not. 

-Frank: Then why do you keep grabbing my goddamn arm?I take your arm. 

-Charlie: I'm sorry. 

-Frank: Don't be sorry.How would you know, watching MTV all your life?Yes! 

-Stewardess: Jack Daniels.Jack Daniels。

 -Frank: You bet. 

-Stewardess: And Diet Slice,the old Diet Slice,and a water. 

-Frank: Thank you, Daphne. 

-Stewardess: Certainly, sir. 

-Charlie: How did you know her name? 

-Frank: Well, she's wearing Floris.That's an English cologne.But her voice is California chickie.

Now, California chickie bucking for English lady.I call her Daphne.Oh, big things may happen to that little thing of yours.

 -Charlie: Look, Colonel,I'll get you to New York, all right?Then I'm gonna have to turn around and come back.

 -Frank: Well, Chuck, you gotta do what you gotta do.

 -Charlie: Charlie, all right? Or Charles.So, why are we going to New York?

 Frank: All information will be given on a need to- know basis.Where's Daphne? Let's get her down here.

 -Charlie: She's in the back. 

-Frank: A tail's in the tail.Oh, but I still smell her.Women!What can you say?Who made them?God must have been a fucking genius.The hair...They say the hair is everything, you know.Have you ever buried your nose in a mountain of curls,and just wanted to go to sleep forever?Or lips...and when they touched, yours were likethat first swallow of wine...after you just crossed the desert.Tits! Big ones, little ones,nipples staring right out at you.Like secret searchlights.And legs... I don't care if they're Greek columns... or secondhand Steinways.What's between them, passport to heaven.I need a drink.Yes, Mr. Simms,there's only two syllables in this whole wide world worth hearing: pussy.Are you listening to me, son? I'm giving you pearls here.

 -Charlie: I guess you really like women.

 -Frank: Oh, above all things!A very, very distant second is a Ferrari.Charlie? Give me your hand.This is just the start of your education, son.

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第三幕：纽约

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