《MD中文配音社出品》

本剧由《西虹市首富》改编

剧本指导: 三千梵音

（感谢给予的指导和在我提出各种离谱的想法时说“这就不用了”，人生中也有人这么说就好了）

编剧: Kloe

CV: 虎不归  小金人不想被拿  蛋酥  维C✨  Kloe  晨雪曦时  白小瑾  梨清苏果 雨晴

后期: 孙二皮

美工: 小辣椒

～和灿烂的伙伴们共事是这个夏天最开心的事～

Cast

Wang Duoyu 

Mr. King 

Great Uncle (Creator of Room 0) 

Host 

Zhuang Qiang 

龙套

DD房主持

July 

Minor roles

Fish

美工

Valley Girl Accent 

旁白

Visitor 1

女龙套1

Visitor 2

女龙套2

All (众人，各CV兼)

（所有OS均用混响）

 BGM1 （伴奏起几秒后入）

Wang Duoyu: No sorry lady, INOTM.

女龙套1: ???

Wang Duoyu: I’m not on the market. Am outta here. (退出房间音效) For the 20^th time, I don’t want a virtual relationship. It’s kids’ play, flashy showy for a week with all sorts of PDA and then move on like their bottoms are on fire. I’m a full-blown workaholic looking for a pastime hobby—that’s all there is to me on this app…Damn. Every chat room is locked…never mind. I'll just enter a random place. 

王多鱼：对不起小姐姐，俺不网恋，退了。（退出房间音效) 第二十次了拒绝了吧，我的原则是绝不搞网恋。太幼稚了，高调绑个CP完了隔一周马上解绑……我是个成熟的工作狂只想搞个业余爱好而已……什么鬼，好友都在锁房，算了，任意门随便进个房吧。

(闪回)（进入语音房音效）

BGM: X-Ray Dog, Cyberworld

Mr. King: Hey newbie, we’ve been expecting you. Have a seat on 32.

金先生：等你很久了，新人。上32号麦。

Wang Duoyu: Seat 32?! There’re just us in the room. Room Number 0. Popularity 0. How come I’ve never seen this room on the front page?

王多鱼：32号麦?! 房间就我们俩啊！房号0，人气0，我在首页从来没见过这个房。

Mr. King: What else?

金先生：还发现了啥？

Wang Duoyu: The background…is it customized?

Wang Duoyu: 这个房间背景，我也没见过……是自定义背景？

Mr. King: Everyone, say hello to newbie.

金先生：请大家跟新人打声招呼吧。

(空位上的麦圈声波攒动音效)

All: “Hello, Wang Duoyu.”

“Hi.”

“Sup.”

“Howdy.”

众纷纷：你好，王多鱼。

你好。

你好。

Wang Duoyu: The rumored invisibility card?

王多鱼：传说中的隐身卡？

All:

“Rejected CPdd invitations 20 times by now.”

“迄今拒绝CPdd邀请20次。“

“…”

“Capricorn, workaholic…”

“摩羯座，工作狂……”

“Fancy gals with huge racks.”

Wang Duoyu: (interrupting) Oh! Thanks for revealing yourselves, everyone. What is this place, how do you guys know so much about me?

王多鱼：（打断）额，感谢各位现身！这……这个房到底什么开头，你们怎么都这么了解我？

Mr. King: We are the covert management team that keeps Xijing sane and running. Ever got a chat room warning? We are the watching eyes. 

金先生：我们是戏鲸的隐形管理。和这个房相比，其他房占用的资源不过冰山一角罢了。我们观察着用户的言行，有时候会在房间留下警告通知。

Wang Duoyu: That was not systematic censorship? 

王多鱼：不是系统审查？

Mr. King: Not totally. We do our part.

Aside from invisibility cards and customized background, members of the room have access to users’ interpersonal relationship preferences based on chat room datas. 

金先生：不全是。

除了永久隐身卡、房间自定义背景之外，这个房间的人还有一项超能力，可看见根据聊天踩房数据生成的其他用户的隐藏喜好。

Wang Duoyu: And how am I granted access to this room? To what did I owe the honor?

王多鱼：我是做了啥能到这个房间来的？

Mr. King: To your firm contempt to online dating. Here, let’s play it.

金先生：是由于你拒绝网恋一心工作的信念。来，看看戏鲸0号房的成员守则。

Wang Duoyu：And you can play video clips in this room?

王多鱼：这房间还能播放视频？

(嘀)

Great Uncle, The Creator: (电话音): Hey Yo Newbie! Hahahaha! Congrats on hitting the big 20! 

This room is unlocked to users who have turned down at least 20 virtual romantic offers on Xijing. Also, I know you’re an aspiring workaholic in real life, aren’t you? It’s another criteria for joining the gang.

0号房创始人二爷:新人，哈哈哈！恭喜！

只有在戏鲸拒绝过CPDD 机会20次以上，坚决不网恋的人才能解锁这个房。成为0号房成员的另一个条件是，像你这样，你在现实中也是个工作狂，不是吗？

Wang Duoyu: Whatcha want from me…

王多鱼：你们想干嘛……

Great Uncle: Haven’t you realized by now? Love and business are like fire and wood, one would consume another. 

Every member in this room is fed up with fleeting relationships. We have all swore our way out and helped each other advance in life. 

Now, newbie, listen up!

I want you to consider something during this coming month: drop virtual romance for good. If you accomplish that for 30 days and deem it your way for days ahead, you can claim a permanent seat in Room 0. No more purchasing of any benefits, no password restrictions ANYWHERE on the app. 

Once officially on board, you’d be granted $300 billion in Xijing coins and diamonds—many complain there’s no practical use of the coins or special effect gifts on Xijing, imagine this: only us, members of this chamber have such buying powers to access a hidden gift page with items we mentioned including the invisibility card and big-data analysis result of user profiles. See for yourself.

二爷：事业和爱情好比干柴烈火，一方总会消耗另一方。

这个房间的所有成员都对快餐式的虚拟关系感到厌烦。这些成员在加入这个房间以前都称发誓杜绝这种浪费时间的关系，成为能互相帮助，在事业上彼此扶持的人。

我有个提议，以一个月试用期，

看看你自己是不是能彻底放弃不切实际的网恋。如果你能做到而且30天后你的决心还是不变，你就可以成为本房的正式成员，永久享有本房所有特权，所有密码对你都将失去效应。

并且，你将获得三百亿金币，大鱼币和钻—很多人一直抱怨，戏鲸金币和礼物没啥用，其实只是他们的购买力无法像我们一样解锁隐藏页面，获得隐身卡, 用户大数据侧写结论等实用道具而已。我给了你一张月卡，你试试看。

Wang Duoyu:  (Looking around) Favorite Topic: Python… attracted to suits, water-bound fragrances…ok next… pet peeves: continuous stream of speech. (龙套: that interferes with my flow.) Shit. This is epic. I’m dying. I’m dead. I’m a ghost. 

王多鱼：每个人的标签栏下都多了个人喜好耶。（查看中）喜好的话题：Python语言……喜欢：西装……水生系香氛……不喜欢：话太密的人。Wow, 太惊人了，吓得我人没了……

Great Uncle: Try it for a month, see how you feel about being single and focused. Check you backpack for $10 billion as a starter pack. 

二爷：一个月试用期，十亿金币让你体会一下自由进取的感觉。看看你的背包。

Wang Duoyu: Holy…that’s a crazy load of coins and diamonds.

王多鱼：我去……这么多金币和钻。

Great Uncle: Oh, and remember, to kinda quote the Fight Club—you do not talk about this challenge! 

Are you taking on this challenge? Hahaha.

二爷：这个游戏你不准告诉任何人。

愿不愿意接受挑战，加入我们，抉择吧！哈哈哈哈哈。

Wang Duoyu: A month, a year, what’s the difference, I’m not gonna find anyone online. I’ve made up my mind. I’ll take on the challenge.

王多鱼：不要说一个月，一年了我都没动摇过。决定了。我接受挑战。

Mr. King: We'll see the result in 30 days. I will be your supervisor during this trial. I will appoint a staff of our app to keep track of your interpersonal relationship updates. PDA of any sorts would disqualify you—no bonding CP status, no confessions on Xijing Square, no goofy matching headshots, and definitely no arrangements to meet up off line.

If you ever try to bribe the supervisor or leak information about the challenge, you’ll be disqualified. 

金先生：30天之后，我们准时结束这个挑战。在此期间，我会对你进行监督。按照规则，我会指派一位戏鲸程序员来记录你的关系。任何在戏鲸上找对象的事—绑CP, 发深情告白，情头，动态，个签，奔现，统统算违规—

把这个考验泄露给监督程序员，或者试图收买她，你会自动丧失考核资格。

 （闪电音效）        

Wang Duoyu: No worries, I, Wang Duoyu, repel the ladies! (Say it proudly) At this point, I repel all female species-!! Hahahaha!

王多鱼：不用担心，绝对不会有女人喜欢我！（自信）这波稳赢！

(闪回)

Mr. King: July’s in the room, she’s the supervisor that’s assigned to you during the trial period. July, this is Wang Duoyu, our $10 billion gift pack recipient.

金先生：你的监督员July来了，这个月她会跟房记录你的情况。July, 这是我们十亿礼包的获得者王多鱼。

BGM2: Freezing-Bren Joy

I work every day for all the money and the Lambos
Frame you in a penthouse with a coupe, and call it Van Gogh…

(以上歌词过后，闪回)

美工: Hey boss, I’m forwarding you the design of the ultimate relationship repellent profile pic. It’s a perfect combination of heavy curtain, bowl cut, and mop top…

美工：老板，您要求的拒女头像设计好了，厚刘海+锅盖头+拖把头的完美整合…..

Wang Duoyu: （点击声）Ahh! My freaking eyes.

王多鱼：啊！过于辣眼睛。

美工：Shall I modify?

美工：我再改改?

Wang Duoyu: Nah, this is perfect. 

王多鱼：不用了，这样正好。