剧本角色
说书人
男,0岁
路边的茶楼,人影错落,街上传来两三声吆喝,人前摇扇,醒木拍桌,各位看官你细听分说
旁白
男,0岁
旁白
白骨精
女,0岁
白骨精妖怪形态
老父亲
男,0岁
被白骨精抓来的老父亲,白骨精也可以变身成他的样子
老母亲
女,0岁
被白骨精抓来的老母亲,可变身用
女儿
女,0岁
被白骨精抓来的女儿,可变身用
本剧情由某优秀的张老师提供素材,并做了那么一丢丢的改编(很幽默的素材呀)
说书人:The last book said(上回书说到),That Sun monkey steal Ginseng Fruit (孙猴子偷取人参果)Bodhisattva Appears to Save the Distress (菩萨显圣救危难), this time I will say,(这回便说说) The Corpse Demon (尸魔) three play The TangSanZang(三戏唐三藏) Holy Monk Hate chasing Monkey King (圣僧憎逐美猴王)
旁白:The word said that the teacher and apprentice on the road to the BaiGuMountain(话说师徒一行人路遇白骨山)
白骨精:Boys(小的们), bring the three of that of me (把他们三个带到我这来)
老父亲:DaXian(大仙)please let us go(请让我们走),we are all good people(我们都是好人)老母亲:Big fairy(大仙), you are so shine beautiful fairy (你是那么漂亮的仙人), you let off us for also(你一定会放了我们)
女儿:Daddy,Mommy,I am a fraid (爹,娘,我害怕)
白骨精:hehe(呵呵),I only soon wanted to used you to catch TangMonk,let you go?not a chance. (我只想用你们去抓唐僧,放你们走?没门)
白骨精:boys(小的们),get then out of here and let them bleed (把他们弄出去取血)let me drink some blood first (让我先喝一点)increase the demon power to deal with the damned Monkey Sun(增强妖力对付那该s的孙猴)
小妖:King ,the blood is here(大王,血到了)
白骨精喝下
白骨精:hehahahaha(呵哈哈哈哈)
小妖:report!(报)King(大王)TangMank and his disciples are coming on the Bone White mountain (唐僧和他的徒弟们,已经到达白骨山脉)
白骨精:Come to good,small people,(来的好,小的们),get ready ,catch TangSeng,eat TangSeng meat (准备抓唐僧,吃唐僧肉)
唐僧:WuKong(悟空),where are we now (我们到哪里了)
悟空:Eight precepts(八戒),maps(地图)
八戒:oh,OK(哦好的)
悟空:Idiots(呆子)
(这里沙僧要一起说跟上!!!)
沙僧:Second Brother,you(二师兄,你)
悟空:Master look on this Idiots(师父,你看这个呆子)
唐僧:(混响)The beauty is so good,I will get it (这女的真好看我要弄到手)
唐僧:BaJie(八戒),how many times have I told you,don't always bring pictures of beautiful woman (我说多少回了,不要私藏美女图片) we are going to get the classic (我们要专心取经)
八戒:Master ,I didn't do it on purpose (师父,我不是故意的), just give it but to me first (就先还给我吧)
唐僧:No way!I will keep it for the time being(没门!为师暂且帮你保管着),until we get the real scriptures (直到取得真经之后)
沙僧:Second brother ,master is right (二师兄,师父说的对啊)
唐僧:BaJie(八戒)maps(地图)
唐僧:e mi tuo fo!(阿弥陀佛)
唐僧:Disciples,we have rest in BaiGu Mountain(徒弟们,我们已经到白骨山了)
八戒:Brother money,I want eat (猴哥,我想吃东西)
悟空:(打断)Fat pig(胖猪)
八戒:Dead money(s猴子),if you say the two words at once(你要是再说一次那两个字) I…I…(我…我…)
悟空:What 's are you doing?(你就怎样)
八戒:I am going to help you catch the fleas (我就帮你抓虱子)
悟空:Fat pig(胖猪)
沙僧:But if monster come,Sun WuKong is not hold on,how to do?(但是有个问题,孙悟空走了,妖怪来了怎么办)
唐僧:That is a problem,WuKong what do you right immed ?(这是个问题,悟空你有什么办法吗)
悟空:No problem(没问题) ,(拿出金箍棒)I will help you(我来解决)
(孙悟空画了个圈圈)
沙僧:What is this?(这是什么?)
悟空:electricity,I had learn electric anything from books(电能,我已经从书中学会了) So I did this(所以我做了这个) , if master use they easy electric monsters can't going are you (如果师父一直呆在这里,妖怪将无法近身)
唐僧:e mi tuo fo!(阿弥陀佛) knowledge is power(知识就是力量)
悟空:good bye(再见)
八戒:Master, we are bored in sitting down find something to do(师父,坐着真无聊,找点事做吧)
沙僧:Master,second brother,let's play card (师父,二师兄,玩会儿牌吧)
唐僧:Good idea(好主意)
八戒:Sit down please,please(请坐,请!)
沙僧:(混响)You may no realize,the concept of winning five points seven eight millions by two hundreds thousand millions(你们可能不知道,只用20W赢到578W是个什么概念)we call this person with a word,the monster(我们一般用两个字形容这种人,堵怪)I always say that(我经常说一句话)XiaoDaoChen won thirty seven millions by twenty dollars(当年陈刀仔,他能用20快,赢到3700W),me,WuJingSha win 5 millions by two hundreds thousand with no doubt(我沙悟净,用20W赢到500W,不是问题)Okay we camp him(埋伏他一手)we can't ,we don't need to be a lord with this card(这个牌不能捡,这个牌不用捡)fight back with a super double(反手给一个超级加倍)become rich quietly(闷声发大才)oh he is super double too(他也超级加倍)But no sweat my card is better than him(但是不用怕,我的牌比他好) straight with two bombs(顺子加两个炸弹) very newbee my cards(很牛这个牌) if change the K to J(如果把K换成J) I will kill all the people(我将绝杀) but we can't change(但是换不得)
唐僧:six(6)
沙僧:(混响)a single six,fool(单走一个6,傻) fly my K (把K走了) punch he with a two (走他一张2) attack he(顶他) BaJie come on BaJie (八戒快点啊八戒)
八戒:no(要不起)
沙僧:(混响) BaJie don't want a single K (八戒你K都不要吗) BaJie faster stop dawdle (八戒打快点别磨蹭了) five six seven eight nine ten(5678910) oh I am wrong , I should play a two (打错了,应该打2的) give BaJie some tea , give BaJie a cup of cappuccino,give BaJie a cup of cappuccino (给八戒倒杯茶,给八戒倒一杯卡布奇诺) start your bomb bomb show (开始你的炸弹秀) bomb he bomb he ,nice! (炸他炸他,漂亮)
(此时白骨精变成女儿的模样接近)
女儿:Elder, look are you more right and handsome,can I have a honor to play card with you?(长老,看你如此风流倜傥,玉树临风,小女子能有幸和你们一起打牌吗?)
唐僧:Sorry, I am we are fight in against the landlord ,and the three is enough (对不起,我们在玩斗地主,三个人够了)
唐僧:bomb!(炸弹)
八戒:I,I can't fordo it (我…我要不起)
沙僧:(混响)Can you kill me with seventeen cards?Can you attack me with seventeen cards?if you attack me with seventeen cards ,me, WuJingSha,will eat my whole monitor !(17张牌你能秒我?你能秒杀我?你今天能17张牌把沙悟净秒了,我,沙悟净,当场就把电脑屏幕吃掉)
女儿:oh, what's a pity ,handsome gay,good choice,play this card,quickly !(哦,太遗憾了,帅哥,好机会,快出这个!)
唐僧:which card?(哪张?)
女儿:play this(出这个)
唐僧:airplane,I have no cards,I win ,hahaha(飞机,我没牌了,我赢了,哈哈哈)
唐僧:Benefactor,you are a master!Coming in and teach me how to play! (女施主,你是我师父,快进来教我怎么玩)
悟空:Don't play ,watch the attack! (不用玩了,看打)
唐僧:WuKong see what do you have done(悟空,看看你都做了什么) Some one are else good intentions to teach me to play card? (人家好心好意教我打牌)
悟空:Master,she is a monster! (师父,她是妖怪)
八戒:less deception ,brother money (别骗人,猴哥)
八戒:How can such beautiful beauty being monster?(这么漂亮的美眉怎么可能是妖怪?)
沙僧:Two brother,Big brother can't say wrong. (二师兄,大师兄不会说错的)
唐僧: I'm going to do the medicine spells (我要念紧箍咒了)
悟空:Master ,please do not read it ,please,please oh!!! (师父,求求你不要念了,求求你,呃啊!!)
白骨精:I will be next to teach you ,money!(我下次会给你个教训的,猴子)
白骨精变身成为老母亲,假装寻找女儿
老母亲:my daughter,my daughter… (女儿,我的女儿…)
看到唐僧
老母亲:Where are you…master,can you see my daughter?(你在哪…长老,你看见我的女儿了吗)
八戒:heihei (对着老母亲假笑,拉走师父)
八戒:Master,people are looking for the brother money to take revenge… (师父,人家是来找猴哥寻仇的)
悟空:Idiot ,get off the way!(呆子,给我起开)
老母亲:oh!my daughters!You are unravel man, look upon human lives … (我的女儿!您们都是恶人,草菅人命)
孙悟空攻击了白骨精的老母亲状态,效果拔群
老母亲:ah!!!!!!!!!(啊!!!!!!)
八戒伸出手,让师父看看这是几
八戒:Master,master look this is?(师父,师父您看看这是几)
唐僧:Sun WuKong you too lost for me (孙悟空,我对你太失望了)
悟空:Master,she is a monster too !(师父,她也是妖怪)
唐僧:For the teacher to read the magic hope (为师又要念紧箍咒了)
悟空:Master,please don't read it again!Don't!Don't! (师父,求求你不要再念那个了,不要!不要!)
唐僧:It's late to you!(太晚了!)
唐僧:It's doesn't hope for you!(对你绝望了)
白骨精:The dead money is a big strive,but I'm not a unefficent (这s猴子是个大问题,但我也不是吃素的)
白骨精变成了老父亲的模样
老父亲:daughter?old woman?where are you?
↑老父亲这句重复三遍
唐僧:Benefactor,you are late,they are dead(施主,您来晚了,她们死了)
老父亲:Oh my daughter,my wife ,who did it? who killed you?(我的女儿,我的老婆,谁干的?谁杀的你们)
八戒:Whoever did it ?This dead money did it(谁干的?这s猴子干的)
唐僧:(哭腔)Benefactor please move,I have to certainly even proper . (施主请节哀,是我管教无方)
老父亲:Pei!!!(呸!!!)
老父亲:You individuals, who have be every monks .Have her people ’s life ,and I will avenge to my daughter!! (你们这样,枉为出家人,我要为我女儿报仇,还她们命来!!)
白骨精变化成的老父亲抓住唐僧,两手掐在唐僧脖子上,就在这时
悟空:Stop! I will kill you!(停!我杀了你)
老父亲:TangMank,your apprentice will kill people again (唐僧,你徒弟又要杀人)
唐僧:You…you…you are kill the three people in the road !you go!I have no apprentice of you !!(你…你…你已经连续杀了三个人了!你走吧!我没你这个徒弟!!)
悟空:No,they are not human,they are monsters (不,他们不是人,是妖怪)
唐僧:Monsters?You are really monster,don't let me see you again. (妖怪?我看你才是妖怪,不要让我再看到你)
沙僧:Master,brother was wronged (师父,大师兄冤枉啊)
唐僧:Shut up,if you another word,you go!(闭嘴,你再说一个字,你也走!)
白骨精妖怪形态出现
八戒:Master,they are monster(师父,有妖怪!)
唐僧:You are?(你是?)
白骨精:TangSeng,how stupid you are , all range of design,now I'll enjoy you blood and fresh ,hahahaha (唐僧,你真笨,这一切都是我安排的,现在我要享用你的血肉了,哈哈哈哈)
悟空:Monster,If you want eat my master,wait until one thousand years ago!(妖怪,想吃我师父,先再等1000年吧)
孙悟空使用宝具:如意金箍棒
白骨精剩余HP 0 白骨精 等级100 已阵亡
沙僧:Our hero is back!(我们的英雄回来了!)
唐僧:I can't understand ,what happened?(我理解不了,发生了什么)
悟空:Master your IQ need to be improved urgently (师父你的智商有待提高啊)
悟空:This monster became three characters to deceive you (这个妖怪变成了三个角色就是为了欺骗你)
唐僧:How did you find out?(你是如何发现的?)
悟空:Got feeling(直觉)
唐僧:Oh,I ,I'm sorry,please forgive me(哦,对,对不起,请原谅我)
悟空:I can't hear you(我听不见)
唐僧:I'm sorry
八戒:(拉长音)I'm sorry——
说书人:To find out what have happened, see you next time. (预知后事如何,请听下回分解)