Overcoming Chronic Comparison

CHAPTER 9 Yes, Life Isn't Fair

The truth is: Life isn't fair. But at some point, you've got to wake up, accept that fact, and stop obsessing over what other people have, what they look like, and what they've achieved.

So let's talk about something that every single person on this planet struggles with: Allowing other people's success to paralyze you.

The reality is, you can't control another person's success, luck, or timing in life. The only thing you can control is what you do with the example other people set and the actions you take next.

When you see other people's lives as evidence that you're a failure, or you're unattractive, or not good enough, you become your biggest obstacle. Mindlessly scrolling on social media, or feeling inferior to someone else makes you feel stuck, hopeless, and perpetually behind. You are torturing yourself for no reason. You're letting other people paralyze you, which leads to procrastination and self-criticism.

When you focus on how unfair life seems and compare yourself to others, you're draining your motivation and keeping yourself from moving forward. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. You are failing because of your chronic habit of comparing yourself.

You are the problem. And the first step is accepting the truth: Life isn't fair. It's just not.

It's not fair that you're drowning in student debt because you couldn't afford the tuition.

It's not fair that your sister looks like a supermodel and everyone flocks to her at the bars, while you're sitting there off to the side buying your own drinks.

It's not fair that your supervisor keeps giving you the crappy shift at work.

It's not fair that your country is torn apart by war.

It's not fair that you were born diabetic and have had to manage your insulin for your entire life.

It's not fair that your friend has a nice house or apartment because their parents paid for it.