Choosing the Love You Deserve

CHAPTER 18 Let Them Show You Who They Are

At the end of your life, what are the very last words you want someone to say to you?

“I love you.”

Love is the most powerful force in the world. You deserve to feel loved, be loved, fall in love, express love, and experience one of the greatest joys in life: being in a loving relationship.

Whether you're single, divorced, dating, engaged, in a situation-ship, or you've been married for a very long time, I believe the greatest love of your life is ahead of you. Even the best relationships can become more meaningful and your connection to someone can always go deeper.

If you're single, your love story is far from over. The love of your life is not in your past. They are waiting for you in the future, and everything that has happened and every relationship you've been in has prepared you for what is about to happen next.

While I was doing the research for this book, I received so many questions about using the Let Them Theory when it comes to love. So, in the next three chapters, you and I will cover dating, commitment, how to know if a relationship is right for you, making love last, and surviving breakups.

Finally, we are going to talk about how you've been accepting less than the love you deserve.

The reality is, adults choose who and how they love, and sometimes they won't choose you. People's behavior tells the truth about how they feel about you. Too often, you chase love—or the potential for what you think it could be—and end up compromising on your values. By chasing love, you chase away the deep and meaningful relationship you're worthy of.

As extraordinary as love is, it's also the source of so much pain. You want to be loved so much that you can find yourself giving your power away to the other person.

For example, maybe some stranger you met online now dictates your mood. Maybe someone who ghosted you has now destroyed your self-esteem. Or your spouse is very dismissive and treats you like a roommate, which you have just learned to accept.

In your love life, you can fall into the trap of letting other people—and their own traumas and issues—make you compromise your standards and settle for far less than what you truly want and know you need.

When the heart is involved, logic goes out the window. You can find yourself explaining away bad behavior or creating a fantasy in your head instead of accepting reality. You can also convince yourself to stay in a relationship that isn't working because it feels better than breaking up and facing the unknown.

You deserve an amazing love story, and you should never settle for less than that kind of love.

Using the Let Them Theory, you will learn the difference between chasing love and choosing it. You'll learn who is worth a commitment and who isn't. You'll also learn how to use the theory to create the most loving, supportive, and committed partnership you have ever had.

The fact is, the best relationships grow and change over time—and changing how you show up will create connection and the loving partnership you truly deserve.