剧本角色
Monica
女,0岁
Monica是《老友记》的中心人物,其他五人可以说就是由她延伸出来的。像是妈妈般的照顾大家,爱管闲事,让她成为大家的支柱。在市区最炫餐厅担任厨师,不论工作和生活上,凡事都要求认真专心,井然有序——连床单的铺法角度,她都有一定的规矩。喜欢控制别人,任何场合都不肯服输。
Rachel
女,0岁
Rachel是Monica的高中同学,未经世事的医家千金小姐,生活上的大白痴。个性因此也有些娇纵;另外,没什么主见,对人言听计从。
Phoebe
女,0岁
Monica的旧室友,后因受不了其洁癖而搬走。乐天浪漫不问世事常说出一些让人哭笑不得的话也常会答非所问却是六人中最客观最有理性的,遇到大事就数她最沉稳,喜爱创作和演唱,在中央咖啡厅驻唱不过后来被取代,沦为街头艺人。
Chandler
男,0岁
Ross的大学同学,因而与Ross、Monica结识甚久。喜好逞口舌之利。公认是以幽默感在武装自己,以避免流露真实的感情;有点精神质。喜欢冷眼旁观再讽刺挖苦大家,常常会有不好笑的幽默感出现。
Joey
男,0岁
Joey与Chandler为室友,自然也是Monica和Rachel的邻居。四肢发达头脑简单型的花花公子。历经女友无数但从未有过刻骨铭心的爱情。意大利裔美国人,没有受过很高的教育。尽管对男女之事甚是敏感,在其他各方面都显现出别人所缺少的童心。
Ross
男,0岁
Monica的哥哥,高中时即暗恋妹妹的同学Rachel,但始终不敢表白。有点一板一眼。不能忍受他人违反秩序。爸妈眼中的优等生,从小得奖犹如家常便饭。非常疼爱他的儿子本。因前任老婆是Les而离婚但对她始终无法忘情。博物馆考古学家,大学教授,收入颇丰。
原标题:《The One Where Monica Gets A New Roomate》
Originally written by Marta Kauffman and David Crane
时长:30分钟左右
BGM按照原版语音速度合成,还麻烦主持人控制一下速度,这样让大家Pia戏时有更好体验,拜托啦~
其他角色(大家自行分配)
WAITTRESS - 女性,咖啡馆服务生
PAUL - 男性,Monica的新男友
FRANNIE - 女性,Monica的同事
TV - 无性别,读词就行
场景1: CENTRAL PERK 咖啡馆.
(BGM 00:06 咖啡杯碰撞声后走词)
Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!
Joey:C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!
Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk?
(大家看向Phoebe)
Phoebe: Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!
Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.
Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.
(BGM 00:21 贝斯音乐转场)
(半小时后)
Chandler: Alright, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realise I am totally naked.
ALL: Oh, yeah. Had that dream.
Chandler: Then I look down, and I realise there's a phone... there.
Joey: Instead of...?
Chandler: That's right.
Joey: Never had that dream.
Phoebe: No.
Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. And it turns out it's my mother, which is very weird, because- she never calls me!
(BGM 01:30 吉他音乐转场+开门声后走词)
(半小时后)
Ross: (受委屈的) Hi.
Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
Monica: Are you okay, sweetie?
Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck...
Chandler: Cookie?
Monica: (向各位解释) Carol moved her stuff out today. (面对Ross) Let me get you some coffee.
Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (在Ross面前做采摘空气的动作)
Ross: No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay?
Phoebe: Fine! Be murky!
Ross: I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy.
Monica: No you don't.
Ross: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!
Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...
Ross: No!! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know, how should I know?
Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... (大家看向Chandler) Did I say that out loud?
Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.
Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M., (模仿Ross妈妈说话)"I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren." (停止模仿)was what? A wrong number?
Ross: Sorry.
Joey: Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?
(Ross 示意Joey说出来)
Joey: Strip joint【脱衣舞厅】! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!
Ross: I don't want to be single, okay? I just... I just- I just wanna be married again!
(BGM 03:31 门打开声,脚步声音)
(Rachel穿着婚纱进入咖啡馆)
Chandler: (伸出手来对着咖啡馆大门) And I just want a million dollars!
Monica: Rachel?!
Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!
WAITRESS: Can I get you some coffee?
(BGM 03:53 杯子声音)
Monica: (面对服务生指Rachel) De-caff.
Monica: (面对大家) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (向Rachel介绍大家) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Rachel: Hi, sure!
Ross: Hi.
(BGM 04:09 伞打开声)
Rachel: ah!..
(Ross和Rachel正打算拥抱Say Hi,突然Ross的伞打开了,尴尬瞬间之后Rachel入座)
Monica: So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?
Rachel: Oh God... well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden-
(BGM 04:39 咖啡杯声)
(Rachel接过服务生手中的咖啡)
Rachel: Sweet 'n' Lo?- (继续叙述)I realised that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Y'know, I mean, he always looked familiar, but... Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering 'Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?'. (看向Monica) So anyway I just didn't know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city.
Monica: Who wasn't invited to the wedding.
Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue...
(BGM 05:21 吉他过场音乐)
场景 2: Monica 的公寓
(BGM 05:27 电视机里的西班牙语)(听到奇奇怪怪的语言就是了)
(等待8秒后走词)
(大家坐在客厅沙发上看一部西班牙语的电视剧,但是没人懂西班牙语)
Monica: Now I'm guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ,and she's really not happy about it.
Chandler: (模仿电视里的女人) Tuna or egg salad? Decide!
Ross: (模仿电视里的男人) I'll have whatever Christine is having.
Rachel: (在房间另一侧打电话) Daddy, I just... I can't marry him! I'm sorry. I just don't love him. Well, it matters to me!
Phoebe: (模仿电视剧里的女人)If I let go of my hair, my head will fall off.
Chandler: (模仿电视里的女人) Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants.
Joey: I say push her down the stairs.
Phoebe+Ross+Chandler+Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! (电视里的人被推下,大家欢呼)
Rachel: (继续打电话中) C'mon Daddy, listen to me! All of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a ha- . It's a metaphor, Daddy!
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.
Rachel: (继续打电话中) Look Daddy, it's my life. Well maybe I'll just stay here with Monica.
Monica: Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with Monica...
Rachel: (继续打电话中) Well, maybe that's my decision. Well, maybe I don't need your money. Wait!! Wait, I said maybe!!
(BGM 07:14 电话被挂断声)