The long goodbye to college

与大学的漫长告别

Any recent graduate will tell you that their head felt heaviest after the cap came off.

每个应届毕业生都会告诉你，毕业帽摘下的那一刻，他们的心情最为沉重。

The month of May marks the first anniversary of my college graduation — or, as I call it, the inevitable and dreaded start of my adulthood.

五月是我大学毕业一周年的日子——或者用我的话说，是我成年生活那不可避免又令人畏惧的开端。

This time last year, I questioned what I wanted from my future, endured the implosion of a close-knit social life, parted ways with a failed situationship, and tried to scrub a stubborn beer stain out of my baby-blue graduation gown.

去年此时，我还在迷茫着未来要做什么，经历了熟悉的社交圈分崩离析，告别了一段无疾而终的暧昧关系，还费尽心思地想把我那件浅蓝色毕业礼服上的啤酒渍洗掉。（译者注：scrub a stubborn beer stain 这里通过洗啤酒渍的细节，以生活琐事映射毕业狂欢后的一地鸡毛，stubborn 强化徒劳感。）

I remember the endless parties, cigars that smelled like chocolate but tasted like ash, cheap champagne that we shook and sprayed but hardly drank, all that beer and wine we did drink. ***

我记得那些没完没了的派对，记得闻着像巧克力但抽起来一股烟灰味的雪茄，记得我们摇晃着喷洒、却几乎没喝上一口的廉价香槟，以及我们实实在在灌下的那些啤酒和葡萄酒。

Now, as I watch videos of underclassmen donning their own robes, I face the unwelcome reminder that grass grows atop the grave of my college days.

如今，看着学弟学妹们穿上学士服的视频，我不得不面对一个令人怅然的事实——我的大学时光已被埋入时光的坟冢，青草萋萋，再难追回。

The morning of my graduation, I struggled to follow a TikTok tutorial on how to tie a tie (eventually enlisting my roommate’s help) and ate just a bag of Cheez-Its for breakfast.

毕业典礼那天早上，我手忙脚乱地跟着 TikTok 上的教程学打领带（最后还是找室友帮了忙），早餐只吃了一包芝士饼干。