剧本角色
Dakota
女,0岁
Dakota Johnson(达妹太甜了)
Kate
女,0岁
Kate McKinnon
记者
男,0岁
Interviewer… Taran Killam
Peter
男,0岁
Peter… Kyle Mooney
【求投币,求三连,您的支持就是我更新的动力呢】
3人按颜色分,4人按角色分。
Dakota:达妹本妹。
Kate: 达妹的经纪人。
记者:平平无奇的底特律免费报纸记者。台词少
Peter:初中校报小记者。用小朋友的声音。
【为了电影的宣传,达妹正在被小报记者采访】
Dakota: The franchise has such a dedicated fan base. So, I really wanted to make sure I did the character justice.
记者: Oh, great! Great! That’s just great. Well, you can look 【停一秒】 for this tomorrow in the Detroit Free press.【采访完成后得意的轻笑,离开】Heehee.
Dakota: 【记者一走立马跟经纪人吐槽】Oh, my god! I hate these things. 【疲惫的】Please tell me that was the last one~~~
Kate: 【打鸡血】Dakota, you’re doing great! I promise you’re gonna like this next one. Umm.... He’s a student at Franklin Middle School.
Kate: 【对着大门口】Peter, you can come in.
[Peter 小盆友驾到。 相比于他展现出的成熟,只能说他的穿着甚至略显geeky.]
Peter: Hi, Dakota. Oh, my name is Peter Scholfinly and I always get the scoop. Especially 【音量渐渐消失】 if it’s ice cream。。。。 【这个冷笑话不太冷】
Dakota: 【被这个幽默的小盆友成功逗笑,笑着说】Oh, my god. You’re so sweet.
Kate: Peter writes a show biz column for the Franklin flyer. And, um, here he’s got some questions about what it’s like being a real movie star~
Dakota: Alright, just go easy on me.【虽然很累了,但是 】
Peter: Of course, of course. Well, let’s jump right in. 【小盆友也可以严肃】Uhhh. So, in your new movie, there’s a lot of kissing~【停一秒,有点淘气的问】 Was it gross?
Dakota: 【又被这个有点淘气的小影迷逗乐】Emmm-He-he-he. Well, Pete, when you’re making a movie, the secret is to remember that it’s all pretend.
Peter: Got it. 【强大的主题提炼能力第一次展现】 【故意拉长这第一个采访成果,对自己很满意】Acting。。。。 equals。。。。 pretending!
Peter: 【回归小盆友的严肃】 Now, in the film, during one of your first violent xaxual encounters with Kristen Gray, 【停半秒】 he ties you to a bad, 【停半秒】 removes your blouse 【停半秒】and... blindfolds you. Right?
【这前边的细节弟弟你貌似不应该知道啊】
Dakota: 【被震惊停两秒后以不敢相信的语气说】Yea....
Peter: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 【小盆友严肃的】He then uses an ice cube to trace along the boooody 【停办毛】of your cvrves, pausing at your exposed bræsts. 【停半秒】 I gotta ask. 【停一秒,很认真的问】Was it cold?【你永远追不上小朋友的思维】
Dakota: 【弟弟你怎么能看全本呢,被震惊两秒后以不敢相信的语气说】Um, yea....., it was cold...
Peter: This is great stuff. 【故意拉长这第二个采访成果,对自己很满意】Ice.. cube... was....... cold!! Moving on!
Kate: 【终于有人看不下去了】Peter, have you seen the movie?
Peter: Yes, 【完全没有接受到Kate的信号】but I might have a bit of a time crunch, so let’s limit the interruptions.【这个but后面的东西我是真的没想到】
【Kate被震惊一整年】
Peter: 【小盆友敬业的继续提问】Now, when Kristen shows you his playroom for the first time, you asked if there was an Xbox in there. I gotta ask.【终于回归了小盆友该有的天真】 Does your character play video games?
Dakota: 【悬着的心终于放下来了,轻松的笑着回答】He-he-he. That’s a good question!【暗号,这种问题才是你该问的】 I don’t.....【真的是回到人物里想了一下,认真的回答】I don't think she does.
Peter: Alright. She prefers twisted games of xaxual pain and domination.【对不玩游戏这个答案进行心理学层面的解读】
Kate: 【看不下了去】Okay, Peter. I don’t think this is an appropriate subject matter for your school paper.
Peter: 【轮的到你管?】 Actually, that’s something for my editor to decide. So, you mind getting me a water?
Dakota: Oh, my.......
Peter: Thank you so much.
【Kate灰溜溜的去拿水】
Peter: 【停一秒】Ms. Johnson, 【突然变成正常小男生】to be totally honest, 【停一秒】what I really wanna know is 【停半秒】 how do I talk to the girls in my class?....
Dakota: 【被小盆友这句可爱的话感动坏了】Ohh~~~~~~【被可爱到了】Awww...【被打断】
Peter: 【打断,其实我问题还有一半, 这句用你最快语速】 …into choking me hard while I wear a human pony-harness?
Dakota: 【继续无语】Oh, my........Uhhh........I don’t think..... I don't think I can answer any more questions.
【这个弟弟的家长是怎么教的?】
Dakota:【有点生气的问】And how were you even allowed to see this movie?
Peter: My dad took me last Friday. 【停一秒】And on Saturday.【停一秒】 And............【停一秒】 three times on Sunday.
【来之不易的父子时光】
Peter: It’s his favorite movie.
Dakota: 【彻底无语】 Oh.......
Peter: 【突然走心】Because of artists like you, my father and I get to have a little bit of time together. 【停一秒】Well, anyway. Sorry for wasting your time.
Dakota: 【也突然走心】No, Peter. It’s okay. Why don’t we just finish the interview?
Peter: 【有点不敢相信】You mean it?
Dakota: 【宠溺的】Yeah, absolutely.
Peter: Wow!! Ahhh, OKAY!!!!!! 【停一秒】 Now, in the book, um, Anastasia says, I’m paraphrasing here【停一秒,用读课文的感觉】, “I pull him deaper into my mause so I can feel ’im at the bæk of my sroat. 【停一秒】 He’s my very own 【停半秒】Kristen Grey flavored【停半秒,戏剧化的语气】 popsicle.”
【再次为自己的决定无比无语】
Peter: 【小盆友聊到自己喜欢的东西那种兴奋的说】 Like I said, I love a popsicle!!!!! 【停一秒,天真的问】What’s your favorite dessert?
【看上去已经要疯掉了】
Dakota: Ummm.... Uhhhhh...., I gue........I guess I like pie.【派...在这位小盆友面前,这实在不是一个好的选择】
Peter: 【他果然发动了】Hmmmmmmmmmmmm, delicious! My readers 【拉长读】will—— love—— that.【被打断】
Dakota: 【打断Peter】Okay, well, Peter, I wish you the best of luck. And it was so nice to meet such a.... Uhhhh... 【用什么形容词犹豫了很久】a curious young man.
Peter: Wait, I almost forgot. I end all my interviews with this question. Woody or Buzz Lightyear?
Dakota: Um, probably Buzz, I guess.
Peter: 【兴奋的】I knew it, Ms. Johnson. I think you’re really gonna like this piece.
Dakota: 【尴尬又不失礼貌的微笑】Um-He-He-He.....
【放BGM1】
【新出炉的中学校报,果然被这小弟弟又坑了一道】
【停BGM1】
【Fin】